I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Randomize
