bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
