She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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