I showed him my bush... on skype.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
