i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Found your dick twin last night
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
