I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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