someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
