I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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