tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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