Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize