if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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