I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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