yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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