hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
