i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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