So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Still dying that you shit outside
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I am available for nakedness
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
