I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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