I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
