I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize