how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I did not marry a roomba.
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