btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Woke up backwards on a recliner
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
