I heard we made out
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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