Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
