But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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