I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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