just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
what day is it and did you see me today?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
