Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
