Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
