I heard we made out
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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