Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
