11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
PANTIES FOUND
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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