It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
