I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
