We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
