Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
