God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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