She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
