I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
