3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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