I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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