her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize