in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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