I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
organizing the empties. That sober.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
