I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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