I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
