My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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