I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
