i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
