Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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