i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
