Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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