It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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