How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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