how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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