You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
