i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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