She said her name was "party"
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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