You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize