Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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