Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
