Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
