Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
