I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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