how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
