it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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