doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
