I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
