There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
