His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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