I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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