i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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